On the introvert’s side of the personality spectrum, there are two types: the true introvert, who is shy and prefers time alone, and the pseudo-introvert, who is a person with social anxiety but wants to appear as extroverted.
I am a pseudo-introvert, and I’ve decided to challenge my personality to inspire introverts who want to leave a trail in this world. During my latest survey, which included 301 introverted individuals, I prepared a list where Introverts truly hate to find themselves in such situations.
You will be surprised to find out that you are also introverted to some extent.
What You Will Learn on This Page
Introverts hate phone calls
An introvert’s activity center is inside, not outside. When introverts hear a question, even on the phone, they feel like they are put on the spot and are the center of attention, making them uncomfortable.
It’s hard for introverts to make phone calls, especially when we have to initiate the call. As a result, we end up avoiding phone conversations altogether. It’s great that we now have a variety of ways to communicate with people, such as texting or emails.
Unfortunately, we still need to call people sometimes, especially if it is a phone call we must take.
Because of our obligations at the workplace, or a phone call we have to make, for instance, to talk with the kid’s doctor, that’s the moment you stare at that phone and start thinking if you should answer the damn thing.
Being at a cue
I hate waiting at the cue where I may have to talk to people while waiting. The only thing that makes it worse is when I have to wait for a long time before it is my turn.
It’s not like I can get out of the queue and go elsewhere. For me, that line is always long, and there’s nowhere else to go.
Waiting for the bus is not my favorite thing to do either. The bus stop can be where you have to talk to people, and I’m not too fond of that.
Follow through plans
Talking to people is essential to many plans, and we find it hard. It’s not natural for us to do this. A lot of the time, we think that it’s better if we avoid talking to people altogether.
We are all very different and unique in our ways, but at the same time, we have some things in common with others as well. We all find it difficult at times to talk about our thoughts and feelings with others, and it can be challenging to follow through with plans that involve doing so.
We need to know that this is entirely normal and understandable because there are many reasons why talking can be difficult for us. It can be difficult to talk when we are anxious or scared because you may be afraid that you might voice your thoughts and make things worse.
Getting out of bed
I’m not particularly eager to socialize, and I don’t know how to deal with it, an expression we most can relate to. There are many reasons to stay in bed, but the most popular one for introverts is that they’re not comfortable or confident enough around other people until they’ve discerned them better.
Not everyone is a social butterfly. For some, going out for coffee or tea with friends and family is a dreaded task. It’s tiring, expensive, and not always fun. For introverted or introspective people, spending time at home in bed might be the best option.
Walk-in or out of the building
If you are like Andrew, deciding when to come or leave home can be a big responsibility.
My introverted friend Andrew lives in a busy building, so busy that it makes him hesitate to leave home for work in the mornings. Many people live in the complex, and most of his social neighbors like to hang out in front of the entrance area.
When Andrew finishes work early, he checks the time and calculates the probability of how many people usually hang out in the entrance area of his residency. If he thinks the building will be overcrowded, he spends some more time at the office before going home.
Introverts will consider these two examples below as forced interactions.
If you are a young introvert, and your parents ask you to spend time with the neighbor’s kid, or as an adult, your boss tells you to go and meet a client to close the deal.
Social anxiety is an intense fear of social situations. It is one of the most common social issues in the world right now, and it can significantly impact a person’s life and relations. Social anxiety, also known as social phobia, is an intense fear of a social situation, which most of the time is not reality, but some made-up thoughts of things that may happen.
There is a massive misconception that introverts don’t like people, but this is not true. Introverts often feel you forced them to do something they don’t want. They don’t want to talk with people they don’t know or have nothing in common.
Introverts enjoy deep conversations with those they are close to and feel comfortable around them but are often misunderstood because they do not seek attention and are uncomfortable in social settings. They also often have difficulty engaging in follow-up with people unless they know them well. Introverts can find it hard to concentrate on topics that aren’t interesting to them or don’t provide much fulfillment.
Making eye contact
Many introverts avoid eye contact because they feel uncomfortable and are more sensitive to social cues.
The introvert may feel that the other person is trying to dominate or threaten them. They might also think the other person is looking for a way to interact with them, and this can be a turn-off for introverts who want to keep their personal space.
People with eye aversion may often avoid eye contact because they do not want to feel embarrassed or judged. They might feel like the other person is trying to figure out their thoughts.
Meetings at work
Whenever I hear my boss saying, “we have to meet to discuss the plans and the strategies for next month.” I tell myself that meetings are one of the most inefficient ways to get things done.
Meetings are usually not productive and only serve as a time-waster for employees at work. These tools will make the process more efficient and save time that we could use on other tasks.
Video conferences or phone calls can replace canceled meetings, so what is the point of having a meeting at work? Said an introverted friend of mine.
Shake hands with strangers
The other day when I was trying to shake hands with Elena, she said:
I always shake hands with people I don’t know. It’s just a normal thing for me to do. But I never like it because it always makes me uncomfortable and nervous.
It’s just a reflexive response from my brain telling me that shaking hands is a sign of trust and respect, so when I shake hands with someone, my brain tells me they are trustworthy and respectful. But then, when I think about it afterward, I realize that they might not have been like that in the first place! I’m not sure what to do about this problem.
To decide if shaking hands is necessary or not is confusing for me because it doesn’t make sense why my mind would automatically tell me something like this.
I get uncomfortable when I hug people.
I’ve never been the type to be expressive with anyone, and I’ve always found it awkward when someone hugs me, it feels like they are trying to invade my personal space, and I don’t know how to react.
But it’s not just hugs that make me feel this way. I also sense this when people touch me in any other way, whether it be a pat on the back or a hand on my arm.
While I’m doing a lot better than I was, there are still instances when my anxiety is triggered. It’s something that will require management for the rest of my life.
It doesn’t matter who the person is. If they reach out to touch me, I usually get anxious and find myself pulling away from them.
Dr. Styliani Spyridi thinks it’s essential to talk about mental health and how people can get help if needed, but not everyone is ready to do so.
Go for a job interview
It is well-known that going for a job interview can be challenging for introverts. They must put themselves in the spotlight and answer all kinds of questions. They also have to ensure they are not saying anything that would make them look bad.
However, there are some things that introverts can do so they feel more comfortable during the interview process. One of these is to prepare for the interview by researching the company and industry. Another thing is to ask their friends about how they felt during their interviews and what questions were asked to them so introverts will know what to expect.
Attend a social or public gatherings
It can be challenging for introverts to attend a social gathering. One way to make it more comfortable is to be mindful of their needs and not overwhelm them with too many people at once.
The first thing introverts need is an escape route. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a few steps back or an exit, as long as they have the option of getting away from the crowd if they need to.
Introverted individuals also need information about who’s in attendance and what the event will entail. The host should reveal the invitee list for the event, the expected number of people in total, and what will happen during the event so that they can mentally prepare themselves before entering a social situation.
Despite agreeing to attend a social gathering such as a birthday party, the closer we get to the event’s date, we become nervous and start to hesitate if we should be at that party or not?
Eventually, many of us feel sick on the day of the big event and do not attend the event.
Talking in front of a group
Many introverts have a hard time speaking in front of a group. It can be intimidating to think about standing in front of a large group and talking. Like it was not hard enough to build one-on-one relations, imagine you have to speak in front of a gathering.
An introvert might not know how to act when speaking in front of a group. They might feel nervous or anxious, which can make them shy or withdrawn during the presentation.
An introvert needs to train well before giving their speech and ensure they are well prepared for any questions that might arise during the talk.
If you are introverted, you will relate to this awkward moment when it is least expected.
When you are a lady and going out with an extroverted friend or spouse, you are confident cause you have good company.
Wherever you are going, all you have to do is give a smile as your company does all the necessary and unnecessary talking. You both arrive at the destination, and it is time to walk inside the crowded venue, but your date holds that door out of respect.
Now you become the center of the attention, and you have to get in first to initiate that small talk with the people there.
I am an introvert. I am not good at small talk, I don’t like people, and I don’t particularly appreciate socializing. (I was all of these, but not anymore, I have been aware of everything while out there enjoying life).
Introverts are not likely to fake laugh at an unfunny joke. They are more likely to think about something else in their heads.
So why do we fake laugh when we don’t find a joke funny? It might be because we want to avoid hurting someone’s feelings or because we want them to know that they have made us laugh.
Some people might think that introverts are just being rude. But really, they are just introverted and don’t need the extra stimulation of a joke they didn’t find funny. People who like talking about themselves might think that introverts are antisocial. But really, they are just not interested in social interaction.
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