In which situations can introverts be social?


Many people know that introverts aren’t the social type. But I’m here to tell you that they can also be social differently.

Most people don’t know it, but introverts can be socially-inclined. They know how to talk to people but in their ways. Most of the time, they do it when they are entirely ready or in the mood. Although introverts talk more minor, it doesn’t mean that these people don’t go out or interact. This is contrary to what most people know. 

That’s why it’s interesting to know how introverts can be social despite their withdrawn personality. The truth is introverts have different social preferences and interests than usual.

introvert facing socia situation

Social preferences and interests of introverts 

Introverts can soak themselves socially but in moderation or under some conditions. Look at the following points and see some of their social preferences.

Small groups

Have you ever wondered why introverts prefer small groups when socializing?

It’s because they are more likely to feel overwhelmed in large groups. 

The social environment of a large group can be overwhelming for an introvert since it requires them to interact with many people at once. 

They might feel like they’re being pushed into situations where they don’t know anyone and don’t have anyone to go to for support if the situation gets overwhelming.

In addition, introverts tend to think before speaking. So when many other people are talking around them, it can be difficult for them to get a word in edgewise. 

They want to speak without them feeling like they’re interrupting or distracting others from what they’re saying. So they’re always waiting for the right timing.

Likewise, introverts are more sensitive than extroverts. So if someone says something insensitive in front of them, they may feel hurt or offended more deeply than an extrovert would.

So while there are certainly some situations where an introvert should be in a group, generally speaking, it’s better for them if they have smaller groups of people. 

A small group of people can understand their needs and can help them navigate social situations with less stress.

Small parties or events

On top of having small groups is small events too.

Introverts are more likely to engage in small events because it’s easier to maintain their energy levels.

At a significant event, introverts are forced to consume more energy to keep up with what’s happening around them. They’re also more likely to be overstimulated by all of the people and things they experience at once.

Introverts prefer small events because it’s easier to focus on the people they’ve met and spend time with them exclusively. 

This allows introverts to recharge their mental batteries without feeling like they’ve missed out on anything or aren’t keeping up with what’s happening around them.

Deep talks rather than short chitchats

Introverts are not quiet. They can also be talkative when they feel they’re in the right place and with the right people.

But what’s most interesting about them is they enjoy more deep conversations than small talks.

Introverts like deep conversations when socializing because they feel more comfortable with people like them. 

They tend to be more reserved and private than their counterparts. So they need time to get to know someone before they feel comfortable opening up.

Introverted people also spend most of their time thinking about what they want to say before speaking, making them appear quiet at first. But again, they have the power to be social.

It also means that when they speak, they will have a thoughtful response that expresses their opinions and feelings clearly. And once you get the proper flow with them, you’d be surprised how talkative they are and that they have great stories to share.

One thing to remember when communicating with introverts is that they enjoy talking about things that interest them or that make them feel connected with others.

Topics like philosophy or spiritual beliefs will do. But if you’ll start small talk about the weather or current events, expect that they won’t connect to you.

Limited or low-key activities

Introverts like to keep things limited, including their activities.

They would rather have one or two good friends than a bunch of friends. They like to be alone and don’t mind being alone. They are also not afraid of socializing or meeting new people but need time to recharge afterward.

This is why introverts prefer limited activities when they socialize. This allows them to get to know someone better over time instead of in one big group setting. 

They also love activities that promote creativity like arts, writing, and crafts. If you’d ask them to participate in extracurricular activities, they will decline it and choose passive activities instead. 

The good thing about them is that they know exactly where they excel.

Here are some of the activities that introverts enjoy the most.

  • Embroidery, knitting, crocheting 
  • Coding
  • Bike rides
  • Hiking
  • Reading
  • Writing
  • Daydreaming

Prefers listening

Believe it or not, when an introvert chooses to go out, they would use their listening skills more than their speaking skills.

This listening preference is not only a way for introverts to avoid having to make small talk. It also helps them learn more about others and their needs.

Introverts tend to be more reflective than extroverts and are innate to consider what others say sincerely. They often spend hours analyzing information about themselves, their environment, and the people around them.

This makes them great listeners who can easily understand what other people are experiencing.

This is why you rarely see introverts taking the lead in a conversation. Still, you should respect this trait of them. 

The fact that they could go out and interact is already a big moment for them.

Takes their time to prepare

Introverts are often perceived as being shy and awkward. But, in reality, introverts are people who need to prepare themselves for social situations.

They spend a couple of hours thinking about what will be expected of them in a social setting. They think about what topics might be discussed and what they would like to contribute or learn.

What you don’t really know is that they are great listeners who enjoy sharing their opinions when asked for them.

So why do introverts spend nights preparing for social situations?

One main reason is they don’t have an easy way of making small talk with others as an extrovert does. They may feel uncomfortable discussing the weather or sports when they know nothing about those topics.

Instead, they would focus on getting to know someone through deeper conversations that share more personal information instead of superficial chitchat.

Aside from mental preparation, they also want to ensure they’ve dressed appropriately and looked good before going out into public spaces.

The socialization process of most introverts

Introverts have their own way of socialization. They always have a plan before going out, including the following.

Accept or reject phase.

The first step before introverts go out is to assess the event they plan to attend.

If someone sends them an invitation, they will review it many times before deciding. They’ll see the date, venue, and guests.

If the event will take place tomorrow or this week, there’s a high chance they’ll reject it. Moreover, they will do their best to come if they think they still have time to prepare and it isn’t a big event.

Preparation

Once introverts have decided to attend an event, expect that they will do utmost preparation. 

When attending, they will even research the event and the simple dos and don’ts. They will also lay down different plans from A to Z if something happens during the event.

In this phase, introverts overthink. Their way of overthinking is positive because they anticipate things and prepare themselves differently.

Social moves

It’s funny, but introverts have ninja social moves when interacting with people.

First, they will activate all their senses. They will observe for the first thirty minutes and take note of their environment. They’ll familiarize the venue itself and find a place where they can run in case the event feels overwhelming.

After that, they will settle at one place or where someone knows them. This is also the moment where they’ll try to communicate.

When the conversation starts, they will turn their attention to food first. This is their excuse to listen more to the dialogue of the group.

They do it to know when to enter the conversation with perfect timing. The main concern of most introverts is to contribute something to the group. They tend to analyze the conversation and keep silent before expressing their insights.

Are introverts good at socializing?

Introverts are good at socializing if they have enough preparation before the event.

This is an essential takeaway for extroverts who have introverted friends. If you want to invite introverts to an event, give them a heads up very early. 

Time and preparation are vital to introverts. They need it to organize everything from their mind to their physical state. In this way, they can enjoy the event while mingling with others very well.

How to be more social?

Introverts can never outgrow their introverted nature but can improve their social skills. After all, they need to interact and socialize to have a healthy lifestyle.

If you’re an introvert looking for tips on how you can be more social, take note of these.

Keep your composure and confidence.

One of the pressing issues that introverts face is their confidence level. 

What you didn’t know is that no matter who you are or what you do, it’s essential to be confident. When you’re confident in who you are, the more you can see better opportunities for yourself.

The more you embrace yourself, the better you can improve yourself inside and out. It will also help you express yourself to others as long as you have confidence.

Slowly step out of your comfort zone.

One excellent step when socializing is to get out of your box.

You can do new things and see if it fits you. If it’s too much, then try it slowly. Don’t be afraid to try different things or even meet new people along the way.

Moving away from your comfort zone will help you develop communication and social skills. Who knows that you can also gain momentum once you’re out there?

Refueling is a natural part of the process.

As said earlier, you don’t have to overcome your introverted nature, and it’s not a flaw to begin with.

Recharging is regular if you feel drained at any point in your life or interaction. Refueling isn’t something to be guilty about. 

So when you think you need a rest, ignore the world and take your time as much as you need.

Prepare topics to talk to

Although you’re an introvert, it would be better if you also knew how to start a conversation.

This could be overwhelming at first, but you don’t have to rush yourself learning it. You can just list some conversation starters and practice them before the event.

You can do it during your preparation phase. If this is still too much for you, try connecting with an extrovert. Why? Well, this is where the last tip comes from.

Make friends with an extrovert

Befriending an extrovert could benefit you in so many ways.

You don’t have to befriend ten or a large group of people. All you need is one extrovert to be your companion.

An extrovert can teach you how to approach people or situations comfortably. Your friend can even help you improve your social skills by practicing conversations.

Besides, it would also be fun to be with an extrovert who can show you the beauty of becoming an outgoing person. A companion doesn’t have to be that hard to handle.

So, to start improving your social skills, you must learn them from the pros – the extroverts.

Don’t ever underestimate introverts!

We’ve all heard the stereotypes about introverts. 

“They’re not approachable.”

“They don’t like to talk and would rather spend time alone than with people.”

And while those are all true in some cases, they can also be misleading.

Introverts are often unfairly dismissed by their peers because of the idea that introverts don’t know how to communicate.

The truth is that many introverts are actually quite skilled at communicating. They just do it differently than extroverts. 

For example, an introvert might be able to give you a detailed answer about their favorite book or movie without ever saying anything more than “yes” or “no.” That doesn’t mean their response doesn’t count. It just means it’s different from an extrovert’s style of communication.

In fact, you can even learn more from an introvert once you get into a deep conversation with them. This proves that you shouldn’t underestimate introverts because they offer many things.

So if you’re an introvert who feels you’ve been misunderstood or overlooked because of your quiet nature, don’t worry! 

You may not say much at first glance, but you have nothing wrong with what you say. People who value quality over quantity will appreciate that quality you have as an introvert!

Garo Kotchounian

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