Introvert vs Shy – Which One is More Confident?

It’s not a new thing to hear people say introverts are shy. But do you know that introverts and shy aren’t the same terms? That’s why I decided to walk you through the real difference between the words shy and introvert.

An introvert is a kind of personality that prefers solitude and silence. These people are called introverts who get exhausted when interacting with people and recharge their power by being alone. Meanwhile, shyness is when you fear the negative judgment of the people around you.

Introvert doesn’t simply mean shyness. But here’s something you should know.

There are instances where introverts might be shy after interacting and knowing something is wrong with them.

Moreover, shy people can also be introverted when they recognize that socialization and interaction are painful and challenging.

Again, even if that’s the case, it doesn’t mean that an introvert is equal to shy. 

a shy introverted beautiful girl smiling

Freedom to choose

The two terms we are talking about make the greatest misconception in the world of introverts.

So many people ask, “Where is the difference between being an introvert and being shy?”

I’d like to tell you that the difference depends on your choice. Yes, you read that right! Think of your chosen path, and you’ll see the difference instantly.


As said earlier, it’s normal for introverts to spend their time alone.

It’s their way of refueling and part of their life. But what’s good about being an introvert?

Introverts know when is the perfect time to go out and socialize. All they need is to prepare themselves, and once they are all good, they’ll walk out and have fun outside.

They also know how to exit an event nicely or when to leave. They are aware when they are drained, and the next thing introverts want to do is to say goodbye.

People who have introverted nature go well in social conversations. They can even participate and contribute a lot if they know the topic or are comfortable with the person they are talking to.

Introverts even know where they are good at. So when they find opportunities to show off their skills and talents, they will take it, even if it means exposing themselves.

As we’ve heard many times, introversion is a unique personality trait. It’s not a flaw and isn’t something to overcome because there is nothing wrong with it.


Now, let’s talk about shyness.

Shyness is far from being an introvert. If introverts know when to socialize, shy people don’t.

Whenever they go, wherever they go, they always feel shy. Have you heard of the term social anxiety?

Social anxiety is fear in social situations. Socially anxious people find attending events, talking, and meeting new people a real challenge and even experience extreme fear.

Shy people often feel socially anxious. They are afraid to show up in public and even interact because they don’t want to be judged by people.

It’s normal for us to be scared of judgments, but not to the point that it will hinder our whole life.

This is what shy people miss out on. Due to their shyness, they fail to express themselves. They fail to find better opportunities because they choose to stay aloof.

Shy people are often laid back if introverts know how to excel and show off their skills. 

Why? Well, simply because they don’t want people to say anything about their performance or work, which is inevitable,

Whether you did good or bad, people always have something to tell. That’s life! All you need to do is accept it. As long as you are confident, there’s nothing to be sad, fear, or guilty about.

Confidence is what introverts have and shy people don’t have.

Shy people should learn from introverts. 

If you’re an introvert, chances are you know how to control and show yourself out there.

But if you’re shy, you might want to rethink your current situation. Why? Because there’s something you should overcome.

Just like being an introvert, there’s nothing wrong with being shy. However, you must overcome your social anxiety to open yourself to a better proposition in life.

You’re missing a lot if you choose to socialize with fear. Think of introverts. Although they prefer spending time alone, they know when to socialize without extreme anxiety.

They also care about what others say, but it’s no big deal. As long as they have their energy, they will carry the day.

But once they run out of fuel, it’s time to go home. And there’s nothing wrong with doing it.

You might want to learn from introverts if you’re a shy person. Introverts can teach you to overcome social anxiety in their own ways.

Prepare, prepare, prepare

Introverts know that preparing for a big event can be stressful.

But it’s important to remember that preparation is not just about being prepared. It’s also about taking care of yourself.

The more you get ready, the less stressed you’ll feel. And feeling comfortable and confident in your abilities will make it easier to enjoy time with friends and family.

This is what most introverts do, and as a shy person, you might want to take this wise strategy of introverts.

So how do you get started?

First, check on what you need to do for the event.

What are your responsibilities? Then make a list of everything that needs to be done, from cooking food to getting dressed up.

Once you have your checklist, separate it into steps. Figure out which tasks can be done ahead of time and which need to be closer to the actual event.

For example, if there’s a party where everyone will get dressed up in fancy clothes at night, it may make sense to clean out your closet. You can also wash those new outfits now, so they don’t take up too much space when guests come later!

Or if there’s going to be lots of cooking involved, maybe plan by buying ingredients or even making some foods ahead of time, so they’re ready when guests arrive!

Finally, don’t forget to prepare your mental state.

Think of conversation starters and how to connect to people nicely without feeling awkward. You might want to find a place too where you can go when you think you need to refuel your confidence.

We know you may be thinking that all of the preparation in the world won’t help when it comes to being shy.

But here’s the thing, preparation is one of the best ways to deal with being shy in a world that doesn’t always understand you.

If you’re a highly sensitive individual, you probably already know that sometimes it can feel like other people are moving too fast through life.

Even if you have a lot of great friends who understand your needs, there will be times when you’ll feel like everyone else is rushing ahead without taking the time to hear you out.

But here’s what we want you to remember. Whether or not someone else understands where you’re coming from doesn’t matter as much as how well prepared you are for any situation.

Preparation doesn’t just mean having the right clothes or knowing what’s happening.

It also means having a set mindset so that someone comes at you with the idea that feels different from yours. Instead of getting defensive and angry, you can take a deep breath and ask questions before giving your perspective.

It may sound like simple advice, but trust me, this is effective. 


Disciplined people are more likely to be successful in life. And it’s important to realize that the kind of discipline that matters most is not always what you might expect.

When we think about discipline, we often think about things like staying on a budget or working toward an ambitious goal. 

But what’s even more important here is the ability to stick to important things that don’t come naturally.

For example, if you’re shy and want to be more outgoing, it will take some work to start talking with strangers and making friends. 

You’ll need some kind of structure or routine in place for this. Maybe writing down ideas about topics for conversation when you’re out in public or bringing along a friend. This can help you lessen your nervousness.

If you can do this without fail every day until it becomes second nature. Then you will be able to appreciate the benefits of being more social. Likewise, other areas of your life will also improve, and you’ll feel better about it. 

You’ll have more energy because of all the positive feelings associated with being outgoing!

Take action with courage.

Preparation and discipline aren’t enough to overcome social anxiety.

You need to partner these two by taking action with full courage. Courage is a big deal for shy people, but you must learn to force yourself to speak up.

I’ve always believed that putting yourself out there is the only way to get anything done.

How will you meet anyone if you don’t try to make friends? If you don’t ask for help, then how will you ever get what you need?

And how will you ever accomplish anything if you don’t put yourself out there and take risks?

That’s what I used to think. But I realized that it’s not true. It’s just not true for everyone.

Some people are naturally shy. Some people have had bad experiences with putting themselves out there. And just don’t want to encounter that again. 

Some people are afraid of failing or of what other people will think of them if they fail or succeed.

But here’s the thing, we need your voice! It’s hard to be shy, but it’s not impossible.

There are some things you can try to help yourself earn courage.

  • Take a leap of faith and try something new. You might even be amazed at how much you enjoy it and how much confidence it gives you!
  • Listen to your fave music and dance around the house. You don’t have to be good at it. Just move!
  • Think about what makes you nervous, and then tell yourself there’s no reason to be afraid. If you’re worried about public speaking, try practicing in front of your pets or on video. Sit at the cliff’s edge if you’re so scared of heights. See if your fears live up to their hype!
  • Start small. If you’re drowning by the prospect of an interaction, try starting with something that doesn’t feel scary.

For example, buying a coffee or making small talk with the cashier at your local supermarket. 

You’ll get a taste of socializing in a low-pressure environment, which will help you build up confidence for other interactions.

Introverts inspire all these strategies. Introverts also find socialization a challenge, but the difference is that they are not afraid to do it.

So as a shy person, you might want to start exploring these three aspects and see how they can change your way of socialization.

Don’t be afraid to push yourselves!

Introversion and shyness are indeed two different traits.

But don’t let yourself be afraid to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Whether introverted or shy, the world can seem scary when you’re unsure what to do with yourself. 

But there’s no need to fear! You can always find a way to do something that makes you feel good, even if it means getting out there and trying something new.

You might think that staying home, watching Netflix, and eating pizza was the only way you could feel comfortable in social situations.

But one day, you’ll realize that being around people didn’t have to be scary. It could actually be fun! 

Life will even be easier if you have a companion. A friend who can help you make friends with everyone from your neighbors to people on the bus. 

Now, you must also know that there are things that won’t go exactly as planned. But it’s okay because we all make mistakes sometimes! 

And even if someone doesn’t like you back, which sometimes happens too, it doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends; It just means that person isn’t for you right now.

So, if you’re still scared to get out there, just know it’s valid to take baby steps forward. Small talks and even a small circle of friends will do for the meantime.

When you are ready to take a giant leap, just take it! There’s no deadline so just take your time to prepare!

Garo Kotchounian

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