Losing friends during personal growth is normal and painful. But you must learn how to make peace with those losing friends of yours so you can go on with your life with no guilt. And that’s what this article will talk about.
To make peace with losing friends, you must stop feeling guilty about it. You also need to understand that the process is a two-way street and that you must put yourself first. Most importantly, you must learn the best way to say goodbye to them before going your own way.
While all these might sound vague, trust me, they’ll make sense later on. But before that, you need to understand why we normally lose friends during personal growth.
What You Will Learn on This Page
Why do we lose friends during personal growth?
When we grow and change, we often lose friends, and it’s normal.
We lose friends not because we’re bad people or because they’re bad people. A lot goes into it, but these two main reasons best sum it up.
They don’t understand you or your motives.
If you’re trying to grow and achieve something, then it’s going to be hard for people who aren’t growing or achieving much to understand your motives. It can feel like they’re judging you or even attacking you, especially if they keep saying things like
“You used to be so much more fun,” or
“I don’t know what happened.”
And if you’re feeling too much pressure from them, it’s easy to stop sharing with them at all.
You’ve changed, and they haven’t.
The other way this can go is that the other person has stayed the same while you’ve grown. If the two of you used to share similar interests and values, but now you have very different ones, it can cause friction between the two of you.
If your shared interest starts to change, so does the relationship.
Ways you can do to make peace with losing friends
So, you’re losing friends. It’s not your fault, and it’s not your fault. But you must know how to get through this without feeling like you’re losing your mind. Here’s how.
Don’t waste your time feeling guilty.
You might have heard the quote, “You can’t please all of the people all of the time.”
The same thing applies to your friends and family. You’ll lose some of them as you grow, and that’s okay!
You just need to accept because you deserve to grow and transform to be the best version of yourself. And sometimes, that means letting go of people who aren’t allowing you to grow.
Remember, it’s a two-way street.
You have to remember and understand that this process is a two-way street, which means they’re losing someone too. They just aren’t ready for the new version of you yet, but that doesn’t mean they’re bad.
Part of this also means that they have two choices.
- First, they can choose to grow with you.
- Second, they can choose to leave you because they don’t want to grow with you.
Choose how you want to remember them.
Losing some friends can feel painful, but it’s important to remember that you can choose how you want to remember them.
- You might want to remember them positively, like how it makes you feel good about yourself. Or maybe you want to remember them in a way that makes you feel less guilty.
If this is the case, try to think about every good time you shared together and all the memories you created during those times. Whatever your reason is, there are many ways to honor your friend and make peace with their loss.
- On the other hand, if you remember them as people who never really cared about you and just used you for their own benefit, it may be harder for you.
Figure out the best way to bid ‘Goodbye.’
It’s so painful to say goodbye to friends. They’ve seen you through thick and thin and been with you at your best and worst.
But as you grow and change, sometimes it’s impossible to keep up the same friendships.
There’s only one way to bid goodbye to them.
Be honest with your friends about how things are changing for you and why.
You can tell them that you’re trying to focus more on your family or work or that life has gotten busy. Communication is important for everyone involved to know how and why the friendship ends.
That’s the only way you’ll be able to move forward in your own personal growth instead of feeling stuck in a place where everyone else has moved on but you.
Put yourself first.
Putting yourself first doesn’t mean ignoring or abandoning others regarding personal growth. It means honoring some parts of yourself that have been calling out for attention.
And those parts often make you feel uncomfortable when you’re around other people who are not changing as much as you are!
And here’s the catch!
When you put yourself first and focus on your needs, you’ll find it easier to make peace with losing friends during personal growth.
You can’t expect others to support you, but if you give yourself what you need first, they will have an easier time supporting you. And that’s what friendship means! It’s about letting go of harsh feelings when letting go, especially if the situation calls for it.
Losing friends during growth is a natural part of the process.
Letting go of relationships that aren’t serving us anymore is probably something you’ll have to deal with at least once.
But as you go on with your life, it’s also important to handle your losing friends carefully. To feel less guilt, you need to bid a proper goodbye to them and communicate why and how these changes are happening. If your friendship’s foundation is mutual respect, they’d surely understand you.
But if they fail to realize your goals and aspirations, they don’t deserve the better version of you, and you should prepare yourself to lose them. What’s important here is you have the chance to let them know why you’re doing it, and it’s up to them if they’ll understand.
Growing and improving yourself should be your top priority more than anything and anyone else.