Why do introverts disappear from our lives? Win them Back!


When you have a good friend who is introverted, you may notice that they have suddenly walked out of your life. There are two main probabilities in such circumstances.

A: something came up in their life, and they need time to figure out and overcome the situation.
B: You did something without realizing it, but your introverted friend was bothered and quietly walked out of your life. As introverts, we don’t feel obliged to open up and explain our feelings.

Either way, sending a text or email to check on them without pressure is a good idea, as that may push them further away. And they may shut down the relationship with you completely.

introverted lady face split painted left side black and right side white

8 Ways to Stop Losing Introverts & Keep Them Around

Introverts are not as complicated to deal with as many people think. It is just that they are not as outgoing and social as extroverts.

Here are three ways to stop losing introverts in your life and keep them around:

  1. Always give them a chance to speak their mind before you make a decision. They might have valuable insights and information to help you make better decisions.
  2. Give them time to process what they want to say before you ask them another question or interrupt them again. Having time to process thoughts and talk will help them feel comfortable talking with you and sharing more about themselves.
  3. Ask for their opinion when it comes to big decisions. Even if it is just an opinion and there is no need for a detailed explanation on why you are going in a particular direction.
  4. It is important to embrace their introverted side. Introverts have a lot of strengths that can help them excel in life. They are often very observant and good listeners. They know how to be self-sufficient. They are not afraid of working alone.
  5. Create an introvert-friendly environment where they can socialize at their own pace
  6. Give them the time they need to recharge and be by themselves when they need it.
  7. Understand the introverted personality and how they naturally recharge through solitude 
  8. Allow them to take breaks when needed or socialize at a less hectic pace with others who share their preference for introversion.

They are trying to avoid confronting their feelings with you.

This does not necessarily mean they don’t miss certain people. The introvert in this example is someone who has been hurt before and doesn’t want to go through that again. They want to leave things as they are, even though they know it will not work.

In my experience, introverts usually don’t enjoy social situations as much as extroverts and need time to recover and recharge.

Suppose an introvert is spending less time around you. Disappearing from your life does not necessarily mean they don’t miss you. They prefer their own company more than yours as they may have been bothered by your recent behavior.

I believe your introverted friend is trying to avoid confronting their feelings with the person they are angry with, in this case, you.

In their head, they are thinking:

  1. I think it is better to leave things as they are. We can both pretend that nothing happened.
  2. I overthink, I have already played the scenario in my head, and things did not go well.
  3. I do not want to tell you that you broke my heart. So you do not feel guilty.
  4. I prefer to leave things as they are. If I confront you, I may lose you forever.

How to win them back

The most important thing here is to make sure we have an open direct communication channel with them, such as texting or social media DMs.

If they are going through a tough time, bare some time with them, keep a distance but do not leave them alone.
But if the cause of their disappearance from your life was directly or indirectly because of something you did, then it is time to take action and do the right thing.

The most important thing is to win back the person you broke their heart. It is essential to understand what went wrong in the relationship.
You could be too clingy, or maybe they weren’t feeling the same way about you as you were about them.

Close friends are truly life’s treasures. Sometimes they know us better than we know ourselves. With gentle honesty, they are there to guide and support us, to share our laughter and our tears. Their presence reminds us that we are never really alone.

Vincent Van Gogh

Once you have figured out what went wrong in your relationship, it will be easier for you to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.
I have been on both sides of this equation. I have broken someone’s heart, and I have had my heart broken. It isn’t painless to go through this process, but it is possible.

The first step to winning back a person you broke their heart is apologizing, and this may seem simple. But if you have hurt them in any way, it is the most important thing you can do for them.

You need to show that you are genuinely sorry for what happened and will try your best not to do it again.

Next, ensure they know you are willing to work hard at this relationship and want it as much as they do. The last step is patience. Be patient with yourself and the situation because things will take time to heal.

We all have been in a situation where we broke someone’s heart, and it is never easy to win them back. One of the best ways to win back a person you broke their heart is by making them feel special and loved again.

Acknowledge what you did wrong, show empathy, be patient, and try to do nice things for them.

Garo Kotchounian

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