Does a Lunch Date Mean Friend Zone (Introverted edition)

If someone has invited you for a lunch date instead of a dinner date, you’ll probably ask yourself if it’s that friend zone again. Well, I am here to tell you that it’s a different angle when it comes to introverts, and this is what I will talk about with you today.

For many people, lunch dates instead of dinner dates could signal an anticipating friend zone stage.

Let’s not be dramatic here because sometimes, it happens in real life. But not for introverts. For introverts, a lunch date means something significant in building a relationship. Introverts do not intend to put you on their friend zone list if they accept or invite you for a lunch date. But why and how? 

We all know that introverts love being alone. They recharge themselves in the four corners of their room or read books. So, if an introvert goes out and meets you for a lunch date, I am telling you that this introvert is interested in you to the point that s/he’s making an effort to go outside. 

two introverts having sushi on their lunch date

Reasons why a lunch date is a positive thing for introverts

Whether you believe it or not, lunch dates aren’t totally a sign of a friend zone. For introverts, it’s one way to take things slow and calmer. Take a look at why a lunch date is a green flag for introverts.

It is more casual, which puts no pressure on introverts.

Lunch dates provide the perfect opportunity for introverts to get to know the other person without feeling overwhelmed. This is something you can’t achieve during dinner dates. But how and why?

The relaxed setting and shorter time frame mean introverts can take their time getting to know the other person without feeling pressure to perform. This also allows introverts to build rapport with the other person before moving on to more challenging social situations.

So for introverts, lunch dates serve as warm-ups and an excellent starting point.

Lunch dates can promote deeper conversations rather than dinner dates.

The more time you spend to know someone, the better. And that’s what introverts love the most, a more profound connection.

There are a few reasons why a lunch date is a perfect opportunity to do just that. 

  • You’re not rushed, and you can really take your time getting to know the person you’re with. 
  • You can have a relaxed conversation without feeling like you need to fill any awkward silences. 
  • You can both ask those deeper questions that you might not feel comfortable asking on a first date.

Lunch dates are calmer than dinner dates.

Lunch dates tend to be calmer than dinner dates for several reasons. 

  • They typically occur during daylight hours, which can help set a more relaxed tone. 
  • Introverts may find lunch dates less overwhelming than dinner dates, as they involve smaller groups and shorter periods.
  • Lunch dates tend to be less expensive than dinner dates, which can also help to reduce stress levels.

On the flip side of the coin.

Indeed, lunch dates can be more favorable than dinner dates for introverts. But let’s also look at the other side of the coin why introverts prefer daylight dates.

For one thing, I can only see one reason why introverts do this. They want to use lunch dates as an excuse to exit the conversation if they feel something isn’t right.

Unlike on dinner dates, it’s hard to make an excuse, right? But during the daytime, you could just say, “Oh, I need to go back to work.”, “I’m sorry, my team needs something from me.”

And after that, you can just exit the date instantly, like poof! 

But what could be the reason?

  • It could be that they do not feel any connection with the person.
  • It is possible that the other person is too sensitive and invites one or two more people or sets a date in a crowded place.
  • It could also be that the other person only wants small talk, not deeper conversations.

Take lunch dates positively!

drawing of introverted couple having luch on a date

Although the universe has set a standard that romantic dates only happen during dinner, let’s normalize lunch dates this time.

For introverts, it’s a positive thing, and you should also take it positively. But most of all, you need to see and appreciate how introverts set their feet on their doorstep just to meet you.

Here are some facts about why lunch dates don’t mean a friend zone.

  • If an introvert isn’t interested in you, he or she will not waste time going out just to meet you.
  • Introverts would rather text you that they’re busy or that you’d be better as friends. That’s simple! Introverts hate wasting their energies on things they don’t like!
  • The “friend zone” is a totally different concept, especially for introverts, and it doesn’t have to do with lunch dates.

If you’re both introverts, you’ll surely understand these points. However, if one of you is an extrovert, try to see the situation objectively and not too personal. You need to consider the side of the introvert and know why they prefer lunch dates rather than dinner dates.

Or one way is to ask them politely if they’re interested in you. But we don’t actually recommend that. The best way is to wait, observe, be sensitive, and be responsive.

Lunch dates are as powerful as dinner dates!

When building a relationship with an introvert, you must first suspend all your judgments and conclusions. If your introvert asked you for a lunch date instead of a dinner date, then go ahead.

Stop your negative thinking. Instead, prepare yourself for that date. Remind yourself that meeting and talking to that person is an opportunity to know each other. And why bother? If s/he’s not interested in you, she’d rather text or chat about it, right?

So, in conclusion, a lunch date does not necessarily mean a friend zone for an introverted person. A timid person may feel more comfortable in smaller groups or one-on-one settings, making a lunch date the perfect opportunity to get to know someone better. And you should know that. 

If you’re interested in someone who you think may be introverted, ask them out for lunch! Let’s normalize it that way.

Garo Kotchounian

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