How to Start Conversation with a Guy (Shy Girls)


Starting a conversation can be challenging for some, especially for shy girls. It is something that you need to prepare for. That’s why I have decided to write a post discussing how you can start a conversation with a guy if you’re a shy lady.

The first thing you need to have in yourself is confidence, followed by preparation. Confidence is a must, especially if you’re shy. You can enhance your confidence by looking at the strengths that you could use to start a conversation. In terms of preparation, you must prepare yourself physically and mentally.

I know that the terms physically and mentally are broad. So, let’s drill them down throughout this post! To be clear, I’ll give examples of how you can prepare yourself physically and mentally before starting a conversation.

But before that, let’s talk about building your confidence because it’s one essential and crucial ingredient in starting a conversation.

introvert girl texting a guy for the first time.

First, own your confidence.

Building yourself is the first step so you can start a conversation with a guy.

You might have heard it a few times, and it might piss you again this time.

“Confidence is the key.”

“Confidence is the key.”

“Confidence is the key.”

This aspect is annoying, especially if you’re born shy.

But what’s the meaning of confidence?

For me, confidence means being comfortable in your own skin and taking risks because you know that even if things don’t work out, you’ll be able to handle it.

It’s about knowing that you are good, intelligent, and strong enough to be whatever you want.

Confidence is a vital aspect you need to have in your life. It helps you succeed and strive for your big or small goals.

And here’s the catch!

Confidence comes from within, and when you exude confidence outwardly, that confidence shines through to everyone around you. You can’t fake it. It has to come from the inside. But once it does, it will make all the difference in your life!

Once you have the confidence, believe me, you’ll come a long way. Now, what does confidence has to do with starting a conversation?

You need confidence so you can start a conversation with a guy. You can follow these things to improve your confidence.

  • Stop comparing yourself to other people. Do not try to imitate someone. Don’t even try to fake who you are. Talk to that guy your own way and where you’re comfortable.
  • Can you play an instrument, write poems, or sing? Maybe you can use that as a conversation starter! Focus on what you are good at and use it as an asset.
  • Always smile! Smiling makes everyone feel better, even if they don’t recognize why exactly they feel better at first glance.
  • Stand up straight! Studies have shown that people with posture tend to be more confident than those who slouch or stoop over their bodies. 

Not only does this help give off an air of confidence and power, but it also reduces the stress placed on your muscles from leaning over too much weight in one place.

  • Take a deep breath. When we’re nervous, our brains get all jumbled up, and we can’t think straight. Spend a moment to take a deep breath and focus on what you want to say.

Second, prepare yourself physically.

There are different ways you can prepare yourself physically. When you look organized and stress-free, there’s a positive chance that you can start a conversation.

Aside from that, preparing yourself physically is another way to increase your confidence.

Wear comfortable clothes that can still make you feel sexy.

When starting a conversation with a guy, you want to ensure that you’re dressed in a way that leaves you confident and still looks sexy. If you’re not feeling it, he won’t be able to feel it either.

So what does that mean? 

Well, for starters, make sure your clothes are comfortable! You might want to consider the color as well. Try to stay on calming clothes color instead of bright dresses!

Finally, try not to wear too many layers. You don’t want him thinking about how many layers there are. Besides, it looks awkward if the layers are not appropriately dressed.

Make sure your breath is fresh.

If you’re a woman, you know that the first thing most men notice about you is your breath. Make sure it’s fresh before starting a conversation with a guy.

It might seem like something that’s not important, but it actually can make or break whether or not they’ll want to speak with you. If they think your breath smells bad, they’re going to be turned off, and if they think it smells good, they’ll be more open to speaking with you.

Brush your teeth or gargle with mouthwash before talking!

Take a quick walk or do some other physical activity before the conversation.

Being active helps you empty your mind, making you feel more relaxed and confident during the interaction. It also gives you time to think about what you want to say, so when you start talking, it will be easier for him to understand what you are trying to communicate. 

You don’t have to go on a long run or anything like that. Just walk around the block. Or even stretch out in your living room before making the call or going over there.

Get some water beforehand.

Don’t go into the conversation dehydrated! I’m not saying you should drink a lot of water before talking to a guy. Still, it’s always wise to ensure you’re hydrated before starting any social encounter.

If you get thirsty while conversing, maybe take a sip of your drink and then continue talking. And you don’t have to look for water somewhere in the middle of your conversation!

The guy will appreciate that you’re taking care of yourself first, and he’ll probably want to do the same thing.

Tie or dress your hair too.

It’s essential to make sure that the way you look is up to snuff before going out on a conversation with a guy. If your hair isn’t tied back, it could get in the way of your conversation and make things awkward.

You could try tying your hair back in a low ponytail or bun. It will show off your face, which is always nice for guys to see, but it won’t be so distracting that he gets caught up staring at it!

Don’t fidget with anything.

Even if your hair is falling into your face, which always happens, do not fidget. It makes you look nervous, making people think you’re not listening or that they aren’t interesting enough for you, which isn’t true!

Always maintain good posture.

By standing or sitting straight, you can show confidence and self-esteem

To get into good posture, stand up straight and slightly push your chest. Your shoulders should be back, not slouched forward or hunched over. 

You should feel strong, powerful, and ready for anything life throws at you when you have good posture!

Third, prepare yourself mentally.

It’s not always easy to kickstart a conversation with a guy. But if you’re looking to make the first move, you’ve got to prepare yourself mentally. 

And that means understanding how to give yourself the right mindset.

Set your goal.

First, think about why you want to begin talking to him.

What’s your goal? Is it just to get his number? Are you hoping for something more serious? Whatever it is, be clear about what you want so that when the time comes for your conversation, it’ll be easy for you to focus on getting what you want and not on being nervous.

Practice small talk.

Next, try practicing small talk before your big conversation.

It sounds weird but trusts me, it helps! 

If nothing else, it will help get your mind off of being nervous and onto something else, so when the big moment comes, all of those butterflies in your stomach will be gone by then and replaced with confidence!

Don’t be afraid of rejection.

If someone doesn’t want to talk, they’ll let you know! Don’t feel bad about rejection; it happens to everyone at some point. Just keep trying until someone is interested in talking with you!

Keep it light.

When starting a conversation with a guy, it’s best to keep it light. Try to find a common denominator between yourself and the person you’re talking to. That’s the best way to start the conversation. 

It could be something simple such as their favorite movie or the food they like best.

Stay calm.

It’s also pretty important not to get too excited when speaking with someone new. You don’t want them thinking that you’re desperate for their attention or approval! It’s okay if they don’t end up liking everything about each other right away.

After all, everyone has their own quirks and interests!

Stay calm.

It’s also important not to get too excited when speaking with someone new. You don’t want them thinking that you’re desperate for their attention or approval! It’s okay if they don’t end up liking everything about each other right away. After all, everyone has their own quirks and interests!

Focus on the moment.

Being present helps you stay calm and focused, which makes it easier for him to connect with you. Seize the moment as it is rather than thinking about how things might go if this or that happens or if he rejects me. That won’t help and will just make you anxious.

The last thing you need to do.

After boosting your confidence and preparing yourself physically and mentally, there’s this last thing you might want to do!

Making eye contact.

Eye contact is an effective way to show a guy you’re interested in what he’s saying.

He’ll know you’re not just there to flirt with him or make him feel good about himself. But that you actually want to connect with him on an intellectual level. It’s also a great way of finding out if he’s into you or not!

Just make sure that your gaze doesn’t linger too long. If he feels like you’re staring at him even if you aren’t, he may think that it’s weird and uncomfortable.

Making eye contact can be incredibly intimidating for some people, especially if they’re shy, but it doesn’t have to be!

Try practicing by looking in the mirror and making eye contact with yourself. You may feel silly at first, but the more comfortable you get with it, the easier it will be to talk to someone else without feeling embarrassed.

You might notice that your heart rate increases, or your face feels warmer/blushing when you make eye contact with someone. 

That’s because your body sends signals that make you more alert and engaged in the conversation!

Aim for a meaningful conversation.

Once you have successfully opened a conversation, keep the interest between you. 

You can do that by planning to have a meaningful conversation.

When you’re chatting with someone you’re interested in, it can be tempting to just flirt and see where that goes. 

But suppose you want to ensure your conversation is meaningful. In that case, it’s important to remember that there’s more to a good discussion than flirting.

A good conversation doesn’t have to be profound or life-altering. Still, it should feel like an exchange of ideas, information, or experiences. 

You should at least carry something from every conversation you have with someone else, whether learning something new about them or gaining a better understanding of yourself.

You can make it happen!

Being shy is just normal, and it’s not something you should be bothered about. However, if you want someone and like to start a conversation with a guy, you must let go of that shyness.

When you’re shy, it can feel like a wall between you and your dream guy. You might be worried that he won’t like you back or that he’ll just brush you off when you talk to him.

But the truth is, if you want to talk to a guy, the first step is to let go of that shyness!

Here’s why.

When we’re shy, we’re not ourselves. We’re not expressing our best selves. We’re showing up as someone who’s trying too hard, who’s nervous about being rejected or judged by others around us.

And if we’re constantly feeling like this, how can anyone see us for who we indeed are?

So here’s what I recommend.

Try asking these questions if you want to talk to a guy but feel shy about it.

What do I want from this conversation?

What do I want him to know about me?

What am I afraid of?

And why am I afraid of those things?

Once you figure out your fears, figure out how you could get what you want out of this interaction instead of worrying about whether he’ll like you!

Garo Kotchounian

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