How To Talk to Your Crush (Without Being Shy & Introverted)


Talking to your crush is such a challenge. It comes even tougher if you’re an introvert. So to help you ace your conversation with your crush, I’ll give you some tips on how to do it!

So the initial step you need to do is to prepare ahead of time. This should be your first move. After that, you can text or chat with your crush after your encounter. Don’t forget to keep your conversation interesting for that person. 

Then other things should follow, such as making eye contact when talking in person. Leading your conversation through asking for help or things, asking open-ended questions, being friends with that person first, and boosting your confidence

Yes, you read that right. There’s so much to note when talking to your crush, considering you’re shy and introverted.

But don’t worry because the world doesn’t stop there. You just need to know the know-how, and you’ll surely ace it and connect with your crush soon.

Don’t let your shyness take your crush away from you!

two introverts talking to each other on the phone

Talk to your crush and set aside your shyness!

It’s not easy to talk to your crush. Whether you’re shy, introverted, or just don’t know how to go about it, it can be a frustrating experience. But you can do it if you can take some of these tips!

Prepare ahead of time.

The deal about talking to your crush is that you really need to get yourself ready for it. If you’re not in the right mindset, things can get awkward, and that’s no way to start a relationship.

So what are some things you can prepare before you talk to your crush?

What they like and don’t like

Playing sports with them may get their attention if they are into sports. If they like books, you can read them together and discuss them.

Personality

We all have different personalities, so we should not judge anyone by their looks or actions. Everyone possesses something good in them, but it’s just up to us whether we can see it or not.

Yourself

I know you’re introverted but try not to be too shy around them because if you are too shy, then that person might think that you don’t like them anymore. Or think negatively about them. This may lead them away from wanting to become friends with you again someday.

What you want to say

You don’t want to devote the whole time thinking about what you will say next or how they will respond. If you can’t think of anything else, tell them a joke! Jokes are great for breaking the ice and making people feel at ease around each other.

Body language

introverted guy talking for the first time to his crush

Make sure your body language is open and inviting when talking with them. This will make them feel more comfortable around you and more likely to want to speak again!

Follow up on your conversation through text or chat.

Like most people, you have a hard time talking to your crush. You might be able to get them on the phone, but once you start talking, it’s hard to remember what you will say next. And when it comes to texting, let’s just say that you don’t want the text equivalent of a nervous spiel like, “How r u? Can I call u?”

It doesn’t have to be this way! Follow these steps, and you’ll be able to talk with your crush without feeling like an awkward mess.

  • Ask for their number
  • Text them something casual and fun (e.g., “How was your day?”)
  • Wait for a response from them.
  • If they respond well, keep the conversation going by asking another question (“What did you do today?”). 
  • If they don’t respond well, take a break from texting until the next day before trying again.

Suppose your crush is as introverted as you. In that case, they might find texting or chat more comfortable than face-to-face conversation. So, that would be a big shot for you!

Make eye contact when you see and talk to that person.

Making eye contact with that person is an effective way to express to them that you’re interested. You don’t have to stare them down like a crazy person, but letting them know that you see them and are thinking about them is a step in the right direction.

If you’re too shy to go up and say hi, try making eye contact when you walk by and smile at them. If they smile back, go ahead and say hello. That means you’ve got their attention.

Here’s why eye contact is a decisive move to make.

  • It helps build rapport by making people feel more connected to the conversation.
  • Your crush will feel like they’re being heard and understood. It’s a small gesture that communicates respect, trustworthiness, and confidence.
  • It signals that you’re engaged in the conversation and shows that you care about what they have to say.

Lead your conversation.

This step is important, especially if you’re a guy looking to make your first move. 

Obviously, you don’t want to make everything awkward so let’s look at how you can lead your conversation naturally.

Don’t go over the top with compliments.

Keep it simple and let your crush know they look nice or that their shirt is cute.

Be honest!

If you don’t really like something about them, tell them instead of just pretending that everything is perfect. This will make your crush feel more comfortable around you and open up more.

Ask questions!

Don’t be afraid to ask if they like something or not. You can even ask them what their favorite color is! It’s an excellent way to learn more about your crush’s personality and interests without forcing them out of them. Asking too many questions about themselves too quickly can feel uncomfortable for some people.

Ask open-ended questions.

Open-ended questions are questions that don’t have a clear answer, and the person asking the question wants to know more about what you think or feel. A lot of times, these questions start out with a phrase like “tell me” or “describe.”

Here are some examples.

  • “What do you think about this?”
  • “How did that make you feel?”
  • “What’s your favorite part of the week?”

Open-ended questions play an important role when talking to your crush. But why?

If you’re nervous about approaching them, an open-ended question can help you break the ice. They can be anything from:

  • “What’s your favorite movie?” to
  • “How do you like school?”

Asking something like this will allow them to talk about themselves and show off their personality. This means they’ll be more comfortable around you and more likely to want to see you again.

Once the conversation has started flowing, asking open-ended questions will allow you to learn more about it.

  • What makes your crush tick
  • What they like
  • What they don’t like
  • How they spend their time after school or on weekend

You’ll find out all sorts of things that make them unique!

Approach as a friend.

introverted boy and girl trying to make a conversation on the couch

You should become friends before asking someone out because having a solid foundation in your friendship is essential. You need to talk about anything, and everything with this person before you even consider asking them out.

What most people think is that just because someone is attractive, it means that they are immediately interested in dating. That’s not always the case!

Suppose you want to be successful in the dating world. In that case, you need to be able to build up an actual relationship with your crush that goes beyond just flirting and talking about how hot they are.

You need to find out and dig deeper about them and why they do the things they do. This will help you:

Boost your confidence

Talking to your crush can be a little nerve-wracking if you’re an introvert. But what if you could use your introversion to your advantage and make it easier for them to open up to you? And that’s the confidence we’re talking about!

So, here are a few tips.

Make sure you’re prepared.

Think of what you want to say, and practice it. Then rehearse it again and again until it’s just right. You don’t want to be shocked by what comes from your mouth when talking to them. Especially for the first time!

Take a deep breath.

This is the most crucial step! You don’t want to be so nervous that you can’t speak in complete sentences or make your point clearly. Taking a few moments to breathe will help you calm down and relax.

Start with something easy.

Say, “Hey, what’s up?” or “How’s it going?”. These lines are simple enough to speak without thinking about, which will help you take a bit of pressure off yourself.

Don’t forget about nonverbal communication.

How you dress and present yourself can help you feel more confident when talking to someone new. And it will also give them a better impression of who you are as a person.

How do you stop being awkward to your crush?

You know, shyness can give you awkward actions that might not be beneficial when talking to your crush.

But no worries because there are things you can do to avoid an awkward situation in front of your crush. Here are several ways you can do it!

Maintain a good posture.

Slouching, hunching over, or having a bad posture can make you feel more nervous and less confident. And when we feel less secure, it’s even harder to be at ease around our crushes!

So here are the tips on how to keep your posture up when you’re talking with your crush.

  • Stand up straight with your shoulders back. This will make it easier to breathe.
  • Keep your hands relaxed at your sides. This will help keep them from shaking.
  • Don’t cross your arms. This makes it look like you’re closed off or closed-minded.

Smile naturally.

Smiling is the best way to make talking to your crush less awkward.

It’s not just because it makes you feel more confident and relaxed, although that’s definitely a bonus!

But smiling makes other people feel more relaxed and comfortable around you. So if you smile when talking to your crush, they’ll be more likely to relax and talk more easily.

Smiling makes it easier for other people to read your expressions and body language. This means they’re more likely to know how you’re feeling, even if they can’t hear your words.

So if you smile when talking with your crush, they’ll be better able to understand what you’re saying even if there are some awkward pauses in the conversation!

Choose to be a good listener than a full talker.

Being a good listener can make people like you more. It depicts that you respect them and value their opinions, which makes them want to spend more time with you.

It can also help you feel more comfortable talking to your crush. You’ll be able to focus on what they’re saying rather than thinking about what to say next. And if they ask you a question, you’ll have time to think about it before answering them, which means that if you don’t know the answer right away, it won’t make you look bad!

Open about yourself just as how you talk to a friend.

Opening up about yourself shows the other person that you are interested in getting to know them better. This can be challenging for some people, but it’s a great way to break the ice and make talking with someone new less awkward.

Opening up first makes the other person feel like they can talk about themselves without being judged or criticized by you. It also shows them that what they say is important enough for you to listen closely and ask questions about it!

Take advantage of talking about your shared interests.

Shared interests are what bring people together. They’re what we bond over, what we talk about when we’re getting to know each other, and what makes us feel like there’s a real connection between us.

But what do we mean by shared interests? It could be the following!

  • Favorite movie
  • Hobbies
  • Pastimes
  • Food
  • Sports
  • TV Show
  • Book
  • Favorite place to visit

Take advantage of your introverted nature!

You don’t have to be like a social butterfly or extrovert to talk to your crush. It’s okay to be shy and introverted. However, you can still make yourself more comfortable with talking to others by taking the time to prepare for conversations, listening carefully, and practicing what you want to say. 

Yes, if you’ll look closely, these are the things that introverts like you are really good at! So why not use your introversion and take advantage of it when talking to your crush?

You’ll be surprised how much easier it can be when you choose to be yourself!

Garo Kotchounian

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