Letting Go Someone You Love (Face Your Fears)


We all have moments when we need to let go of our loved ones. It’s painful and scary as well. That’s why for today, I decided to talk about how you can face your fears of letting go of someone.

Letting go of someone is a very grueling process. But that’s how life works, and you can counter the pain it brings in some particular ways. It includes setting up the right mindset, being emphatic, learning how to forgive and forget, mastering your own emotions, and more.

Even though letting go of people who are no longer part of our lives can be painful and difficult. We must learn how to accept loss as part of life so that we don’t suffer emotionally later on down the road. 

Not only will this help us cope better with loss when it happens again in future relationships, but it also keeps us from making mistakes.

When to move on?

The right time to move on depends on you. Although our situation is relative, there are signs when you need to move forward.

Take a look at this list.

  • Feel like you are not your person anymore because you’ve become so dependent on a relationship that you’ve missed the sight of who you are as an individual.
  • Not being able to enjoy life without the other person. Or even worse, making sure they are around so much that it interferes with your ability to enjoy life without them.
  • Not thinking of yourself as an independent person anymore.
  • Your daily life is getting affected.
  • You feel like you’re starting to become physically, emotionally, and mentally unhealthy.
  • You’re not being productive.

Face your fears

Letting go of someone you cherish is one of the most challenging things you’ll ever have to do.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for five years or fifty if you’re in a long-distance relationship or just moved across the country. Letting someone go can leave you feeling like your heart is ripped out of your chest.

So how do we move on? How do we let go of someone who means so much to us? How do we make ourselves happy again when all we want is to be with them?

The answer is simple. 

Face your fears. 

When your fear of letting go keeps you from doing what’s best for yourself and everyone around you, it needs to be faced and dealt with head-on before any progress can be made.

But what do we mean by these fears? That’s the list we’ll explore throughout this post.

Revisit your mindset

When trying to move on from someone, your mindset is one fear you’re living.

In other words, your mindset is what’s holding you back from letting go of the person in your life, and it’s also what’s keeping you stuck in a place where you’d rather be with them than without them.

You might think that letting go means giving up on a relationship or giving up on getting back together with someone. 

But when we talk about letting go of someone, we’re really talking about letting go of the idea that you need them to be happy. 

We’re talking about letting going of the false belief that if they come back into your life again. Everything will be better than ever before, and everything will be perfect.

Letting go isn’t easy, but it’s worth it because once you do, you’ll start feeling happier!

When you’re letting go of someone, it can be hard to change your mindset from thinking about them to not thinking about them. 

But there are ways to make that happen, and it’s important to try because when you’re holding on to a person who doesn’t want to be with you anymore, it’s not good for either of you.

Ask yourself whether this person is worth the time and energy it takes to hold on to them. 

Think about the kind of person you’d like in your life. Instead of this one, focus on that. 

Remind yourself that other people want a relationship just as much as this person does. 

Being emphatic.

If you’re letting go of someone but don’t know how to express your feelings and emotions safely. Being emphatic will help make the process more straightforward and less stressful for everyone involved.

You can do this by acknowledging the other person’s feelings and saying, “It means a lot that you feel that way.” 

You’ll also want to make sure that they know they’re loved and cared for but not to the point that it makes them feel like they’re being held back from doing what they want or moving on with their life.

The other person needs to know that you understand them, which will help them move forward with their lives more quickly if they feel they’ve been heard. 

If you can do this, you will likely have less drama and maybe even some closure.

Forgive and forget.

Forgiving and forgetting are two important parts of letting go.

When you forgive someone, you’re essentially letting them off the hook for whatever they did to hurt you. You don’t have to hold a grudge against them or even continue to think about what they did.

Forgiving is one of the scariest things to do when letting go of someone. But you should also know that it is the only magic you need to move forward.

Meanwhile, forgetting is a little bit different. It’s about not holding on to the memory of that person in your heart anymore. 

This is important because it allows you to move on from them and focus on the future. Remembering their actions can bring up negative emotions and make it hard for you to find happiness again.

Control your emotions.

 Falling into negative thinking when going through a breakup is easy and inevitable.

You may repeatedly play your relationship in your head and wonder what went wrong. However, it would be helpful to remind yourself that you can’t control other people or their actions but can control your thoughts and emotions.

When you focus on what went wrong in your relationship, you’re permitting yourself to be angry and sad about it.

Just know that this isn’t necessarily bad. It’s healthy to feel those emotions sometimes! 

But if you don’t try to control them and focus on positive things. Instead, they’ll keep building up until they eventually spill out uncontrollably.

Time.

Time can be scary when you’re letting go of someone simply because it’s a reminder that your relationship is over.

But on the other hand, time is also essential in moving forward.

Time gives you a chance to reflect on your relationship and begin the process of moving on.

You might have heard it a thousand times that time heals all wounds, but while this is true in some cases, it can also be incredibly misleading. The truth is that time heals wounds only if you did the right way of moving on.

To truly move on from a past relationship. You need to be able to reflect on the issues in your relationship and how they affected your life. 

You also need to be willing and able to accept responsibility for your part in its demise.

Know what you deserve.

When we think about letting go of someone, it can be scary to consider what we deserve. 

We might worry that our expectations are too high and that we’ll never find the right person. We might fear that we will wind up alone or lose our friends or family if we make this decision.

But you should also remember that you are not defined by what someone else does or doesn’t do for you.

You are defined by how you treat others and yourself. You should know by now who and what type of person you deserve.

And by the word deserve, we also mean you earn freedom. You deserve genuine happiness that you could only achieve when you let go.

Be the writer of your story.

Believe it or not, we sometimes feel scared about our decisions. Occasionally, we even find it confusing who is the actual writer of our story. Is it the divine or us?

We can say that we already have our stories prewritten and are headed to one goal that the divine has dictated. But it’s still better to do your best to write and manage your own life.

By doing so, you can avoid regrets in the end. So what does it have to do when letting go of someone?

When trying to move forward, you have two options. First, you can just sit still and think of the what if or what could be scenarios. 

Meanwhile, your second choice is to act, clear your mindset, and focus on the most essential things in life.

Now, you have the paper and pen in your hand, what would you write? What option do you think can make you grow as a person and open opportunities for you?

Your story is always up to you. You can let go of that person while seeing the positive things in life. This way, you can set yourself up for a better version.

Avoid blaming someone.

Whenever there’s separation or goodbye, people tend to find someone to blame so they can feel good about themselves. 

Having no one to blame is a scary thing for some. But, it doesn’t have to be this way, and you should know that the blame game can never bring you a positive proposition in life.

Blame is one of the most toxic things you can do when letting go of someone. 

If you’re dealing with a breakup, or even if you’re just trying to let go of someone who’s still in your life but not healthy for you, blaming them will never help.

In fact, it’s going to make everything worse. To move forward from a situation and make better decisions, you need to accept responsibility for your part in whatever happened.

Things to instill in yourself after letting go

Be happy on your own.

Sometimes it takes a while to be happy on your own, and it’s challenging to do this.

But once and for all, do not depend your happiness on anyone. Be happy on your own, so it won’t be that painful when it’s time for them to leave.

You don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy. You just need to know how to make yourself comfortable. Maybe it’s by taking a walk around the block, seeing your favorite band play, or inviting friends over for dinner.

Whatever it is, find the path that makes you happy and do that.

Your past doesn’t define you.

Your past doesn’t define you when letting go of someone. In fact, it’s your presence that makes all the difference.

You can’t redo what’s done, but you can make a move on how you feel about it. When you keep loving someone who doesn’t love you back, you can’t move on from them.

But when you let go, you give yourself space to focus on what matters most in your life.

Decide for yourself.

Don’t let anyone instruct you what to say or how to act. 

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. You’re the only one who can decide if something is right or wrong and if it’s worth doing. If someone tells you your decision makes no sense or is terrible, ask yourself why they think so. 

And if someone speaks ill of you for making a mistake, don’t listen to them. Remember that everyone makes mistakes sometimes, and it’s your life, by the way.

The world will turn whether you like it or not.

Life is a journey. And just like any journey, you have to keep moving. You can’t let your fear of change stop you from taking the next step. You must keep going forward, even if you don’t want to.

You can’t let what other people think about you hold you back from being who you are. The world will turn whether you like it or not, so move on! You can’t stop time, so why waste it?

Losing someone is a natural human experience.

One thing to remember is that losing someone is part of our life. It is a natural part of the human experience and is not something to be feared or avoided. It’s something we all face at any point in our lives.

And when you do lose someone, the worst thing you can do is isolate yourself from those who love you most. 

Reward yourself with people who really care about you and will support you every step of the way instead. They’ll help keep your spirits up by reminding you there’s so much worth living for!

Garo Kotchounian

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