How Late is Too Late for Husband to Stay Out (How to Change)

If you are an introverted woman with an extroverted husband who likes to hang out by staying out late, you might find yourself confused about whether you’re still on the right track. Of course, you want a healthy relationship, so for this one, I’ll give you some points on how late is too late for a late husband and tips on how you can change the situation.

To directly answer the question, 1 AM is a reasonable time for a husband to come home. If he comes home from 2 AM onwards, that’s obviously considered as late. However, it’s not always the same for everyone. That’s why it’s essential to talk and set a time before he leaves. 

But apart from that, there are some considerations you need to check before you get mad at your partner for coming home late.

Every husband is a relative. Your husband is totally different from the husband of your neighbor. So it means that the reason why your husband goes out in the evening is definitely his decision and a personal matter.

It’s also normal for men to stay out at night, and I am sure you understand. However, you also need it when it is too much and still forgivable.

man checking his watch cause he is late to go home to his wife.

Is it OK for my husband to stay out late?

Giving your husband time to catch up with their friends in the evening is fine.

In fact, it’s one way to support them, but you should also know when it is OK for them to stay out late.

Here are some important points to check.

Catching up with friends is just fine.

You can let your husband go out at night if they say they’ll catch up with their friends. You can give them your permission, but you must also set limitations. 

Set a time that’s fine for both of you. As I said earlier, 1 AM is reasonable, so why not negotiate with this time?

Likewise, ask your husband what type of catching up it will be:

  1. What will they do?
  2. Where will they meet?
  3. Who else will be there? 

Drinking with colleagues is just fine.

Relaxing with colleagues after a long day of office work is expected. If your husband says they will drink, then say yes as long as they’ll be home at the set time.

He should also update you about the place and remind him that he should not overdrink, especially if it’s still weekdays.

Going to night parties is just fine.

Night parties can recharge your husband but make sure that they’re with their friends when they do it. 

2 to 4 hours at a party is pretty enough to chill and talk with friends. So, why should a husband stay out late? Again, set the time.

When should you start worrying if your husband is late out?

It might be time to worry if he’s always out and not telling you where he is going.

It’s important that your significant other is honest with you about their whereabouts and always lets you know where they are going.

If they’re not being honest with you and neglecting to tell you where they are, there could be a problem.

Looking for a new adventure at night is not acceptable.

If your husband is bored and suddenly says he wants to look for more adventure. Still, it’s evening, and you must be careful before deciding.

First, what type of adventure is available at night? Will they meet someone? Or if yes, who will it be?

This is alarming, especially if your husband isn’t like this in your first few years. If they want to do something at night, tell them to be honest about it. 

Making excuses or lies just to go out at night is not OK.

If your husband seems to make excuses so they can go outside at night, this is a red flag that you should worry about. 

Many illegal things happen at night, such as drugs, and you don’t want your husband to get involved in that activity. If you think their excuse is too good to be true, then them being out late at night is a bad idea.

As I said earlier, it’s normal for men to be late at night. But as a wife, you should know that 1 AM is enough and where and what they are exactly going. 

Tips for handling this issue

There’s no direct way to handle this issue or situation at all. Most wives will get mad immediately when their husband comes home late, which is a normal response. 

However, you should know that there are some ways you handle it more calmly. 

Ask your husband calmly.

Asking your husband calmly is one great way to handle the situation.

You wouldn’t know where he came from or why he’s late if you didn’t ask. You should also stop concluding on your own. Jumping to conclusions without any proof or evidence will only stress you out.

You can ask him about how his day went. 

While it may look like an obvious way to find out why he came home late, many people forget to do this! It’s so quick to get caught up in our lives and forget what’s happening in our partner’s world.

Find out the reason why

If you’re wondering why your husband came home late, there are a few things you can do to find out why.

First, look for clues to his behavior. Does he seem upset or distracted? Is he avoiding eye contact? If so, it’s possible that something happened at work that’s making him uncomfortable or even angry.

It will lead us back again to the first tip, which is to ask.

You need to ask him directly what happened at work today that made him come home late.

This is probably the best thing to get information from your spouse. Still, it can also lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings if not done with care and respect for each other’s feelings.

Or do you think home is the reason why he comes home late?

Do you think he enjoys spending his time outside rather than at home? You might find out the reason why so you can resolve it.

Don’t nag when he comes home late.

Nagging is the worst action you can do to your husband if he comes home late.

Well, I understand that you’re angry, but the situation will just worsen if you’ll nag him. He will even set distance and refuse to talk about his day if you pester him when he enters the door.

Why not give him time to relax before you talk to him? In this way, you can avoid tension between the two of you, and you can even speak one-on-one and see how to figure out the issue.

Make home a haven for him.

Believe it or not, some men feel pressured and stressed in their homes. This is why they come home late to spend little time in the house.

But this shouldn’t be the case. If you think your husband hates being home, you should make a move and see what you can do to make him feel like home is the safest place to be.

You can cook him meals, set up a daily routine to strengthen your bond, or even have a dinner date in the backyard.

If you don’t want to see your husband coming home late, then bring some fun and excitement home! This way, he’ll never be tempted to go out again late at night!

Communication makes a relationship work!

Some of these tips won’t just work on someone else’s relationship.

But, if there’s one thing I want you to take note of, it’s all about communication. 

Communicate with your husband in a way that’s sweet and not like nagging.

Tell him if he wants to go out at night; it’s fine as long as he’ll be home before midnight. Before he leaves, ask about the details of his getaway, like places, acquaintances, and activities.

If he comes home late, communicate calmly and ask why. There’s no better approach than being nice and understanding. 

You should also activate your detective side, especially if you notice different behavior changes in him. But stop being paranoid, and you shouldn’t jump to conclusions unless you heard it directly from him or saw it yourself.

Be calm and apply some tough love sometimes. If he comes home late, tell him it’s OK but not constantly until he can cook and prepare himself. 

Garo Kotchounian

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